When your ad goes astray...

After she marketed this photo across the world (and I cannot but agree with the accompanying review), I have only one remaining question:



How can Berliners speed this up?

The suitcase prophylactic

In this blog's running Department of Things That Make You Go 'Hmm...', Romanian airport technology has taken another giant leap forward.

First, our friends at Otopeni, excuse me, Henri Coandă Airport built, well, an entirely new airport. That was several years ago, but I still get excited at seeing it every time I arrive, given wincing memories of the previous version. But I digress.

On the way out from Easter, I spotted a truly remarkable device that apparently required at least two local staff to operate:







Now, I understand full well that almost all airlines and airports have perfected ways to dent, claw, and eat your bags at least once every three years. I understand they select people with great care for the latter's specialized interest in rending things and throwing them ten feet into the airplane cargo hold, with bonus points for a satisfying thump, as they train for the next Iron Person competition.

Given this, what I cannot understand is why people buy expensive luggage. At all. It's. Going. To. Get. Destroyed. Get your discount suitcase, one that you are happy to feed to The Thing In The Airport Deep, and be done with it. You are not going to impress anyone for the 90% of the time that your luggage is completely out of your sight and everyone else's.

So, thanks in part to the overly accessorized market segment that deludes itself into believing that passersby care about the sleek lines and colors of other people's luggage, we now have our Romanian airport staff making sure your suitcase - the one that differs very little from everyone else's unless it's in Steal-Me-Red-or-Mauve - is encased in at least five layers of plastic on all dimensions. The wheels still poke out, by the way, and why not? It's mandatory that at least one not make it to your destination.

It's also supposed to make sure cretins and thieves don't find their way into your underwear, although one would hope common sense reminds you to keep your valuables in your carry-on. I'm sure the security guys love hacking through the Tolkien-worthy web of plastic when they spot something that needs investigating.

Yes, I can see a purpose in (a) making the airport some money and (b) using this to cover up your trekking backpack, the one with all the loose straps that the Conveyor Beast loves more than any other.

But Czech Airlines (CSA) has the answer to that. A simple plastic bag with a tie. Me, I buy a large duffel in which I can stuff the entire pack - and re-use that duffel over the decades.

Not reams of environmental insult per suitcase.


Romania Otopeni suitcase suitcase+protection airports airlines luggage luggage destruction